i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
