Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize