im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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