So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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