So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
