if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
