Tell her she can't have a vagina
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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