so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
