He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
