Your face is a jimmy john
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
