I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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