You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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