She is in my trunk
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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