Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize