They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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