My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Drake has all the answers
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
