So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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