He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
