Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
