the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
