I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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