I am in a vortex of obligation.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
