I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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