i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am available for nakedness
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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