Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize