Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
