You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize