My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
