I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I lost the right to judge tonight
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
