Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
