I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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