Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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