when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
