I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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