i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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