Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
