'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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