shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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