nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
