Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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