I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
