I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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