he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize