Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
