hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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