didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
