**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
