i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
