It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
