Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
