the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize