Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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