pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize
