the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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