hell yes lets make some ravioli
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
