OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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