come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
