I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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